STAYING CLOSE, JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN – IT TAKES PRACTICE……..

Aloha my brothers! If I may, I feel in my heart to give you some thoughts, on a very deep and sensitive area of all men’s lives. Some may think it’s there secret sin, some may say it’s there commitment to their church, some may say it’s their Ministries, some may simply say it’s my brothers. I hope at this time as you ponder your inner thoughts, you would agree with me and say, it’s our wives. Why our wives you may ask? Simple. We can find so many things as men to take up our time, our spare time, and any other time that we find we may need. As I consider this very serious but emotional topic, I think back to the time I met my wife. We were two young kids trying to impress each other, but with all we did, there was nowhere else we would rather be, than with each other. I know what you are saying……”That’s what you do when you are young and in love”. There, is the beginning of the lie the enemy begins to place in your head and eventually your heart. See God, has given us the most precious gift besides our salvation, it’s our mates. Think back, to when you first laid eyes on your wife or girlfriend. I would bet anything, your answer would be WOW!! If asked that question today, even after all the years together, the children, work, and anything else you allow to come in to your life, can you still say WOW! Jesus state’s it simple in Ephesians 5:25…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her. Just as Jesus Christ completely gave himself up to provide salvation for the church, a husband is also to completely give himself up for his wife’s good. When that happens, the husband will earn the respect of his wife. Losing that feeling you once had..The WOW!, becomes so hurtful to God, because he was the one who first placed that feeling inside of you. To just ignore it, is the same as ignoring our Heavenly father. I would like to share some key points on how to get the WOW back into your relationship, and the passion back into your heart towards your spouse. I know for myself, I need to keep my wife’s tank filled with these four areas.

1. Security – Which produces feeling safe with you.
2. Conversational Companionship – Talking, Listening, make her feel as important.
3. Significance – Her values, She’s appreciated, Honored.
4. Affection – Hugs, Hold Hands, Cuddle, Touching when together. These next two are key – You can never say “ I Love You” enough, and Pray over her.

RAW POWER NEVER MAKES A MAN – “A MAN”

I understand these areas may be hard or difficult for some, but the blessing for us all, is, each other. Brothers, need to be transparent with each other, because not a one can do this alone. Prayer will help us all get, where we need to go.

See, the forces that push couples apart is simple. Everyday Conflict. The real question is, how do I deal with the conflict. The circle begins with the problem (conflict), it then grows into hurt feelings, to anger, with one of you, or both fleeing, withdrawing, becoming silent, and then go into isolation. OR we can take the route Jesus would have us to do. When the conflict begins, choose to face the conflict, but not to fight, accuse, demand, put down, or simply to win. But to have dialogue, understanding, forgiveness, compromise, which leads us as couples to continue to grow closer together and to God. Jesus has picked out the perfect mate for us. I know for myself, I would not want to live life with any other person in my life other than my wife. Again, this may open areas in some of you. Be encouraged that today you can begin that WOW affect in your relationship or marriage. Life will continue to pass us all by. Times will change. Faces will come and go. But for us as blessed men of God, the one gift God has given us, remains in the hearts of you men, to see that she can look in the mirror and speak to her heavenly father, and say the words, “Thank you Lord, I am a blessed wife, for you gave me the perfect mate”. Twenty two years have passed since I first laid eyes on my mate, and everyday that passes there isn’t enough W’s for the word WOW!!! These four areas we looked at earlier, can and will help us all to achieve a closer bond with our spouses.

SECURITY:

1. Have you told her lately “I Love You”?

2. Are you being honest with her?

3. Did you tell her the truth?

4. Are you making her financially secure?

CONVERSATION:

1. Did you ask her what she is thinking and feeling today?

2. Have you had a date lately..Alone..just to talk and unwind together?

3. When is your next out-of-town getaway to play, plan and problem-solve?

SIGNIFICANCE:

1. Did you offer her any words of praise today?

2. Have you told her how important she is to you?

3. Did you ask for her opinion on a purchase, decision, or new direction you are contemplating?

AFFECTION:

1. Did you hug and kiss her today?

2. How about a call out of the blue to say, “I’m thinking of you”.

3. How about a big surprise to honor her this year? A big gift?

I remember back in 1996, I heard two things that are so true, that they are imbedded into my heart.

1. Piece of mind, never comes to any home, when someone is always handing out a piece of his mind!

2. Jesus never said it would be easy….He said it would be worth it!!!

Men, take control of the most important ministry you will ever belong to, your wife's and your family!

May God Bless you, protect your time, and give you the inner peace and love only He can give, as you continue to share life and companionship with your precious gift God has given you – your spouse.

Blessings over you all!

Kevin Mahoney

Founder NEHIM

1994